Family Truckster

Thank you for traveling with us today. Our trip is estimated at approximately 13 hours into the DFW area. While we complete final preparations for departure, I would like to introduce new safety features of your Family Truckster 2016.

Should we encounter any sustained disruptions or disturbances on our journey, an enjoyment revocation sign will light up and passengers in our main cabin must surrender all electronic gadgets and assorted card games.

If turbulence continues, this vehicle is equipped with the advanced “I’m SiriusXm Or Else” safety feature (patent pending).

If activated, noise canceling headphones will automatically deploy in the cockpit while the following presets will be looped in constant rotation (by order of severity) in our main cabin:

  1. Neil Diamond Danger Sign
  2. The Carpenters Danger SignDanger Sign
  3. Barry Manilow Danger SignDanger SignDanger Sign
  4.  Gordon Lightfoot Danger SignDanger SignDanger SignDanger Sign

***In the event preset 4 is required, CPS will automatically be contacted by our emergency response system.

We hope to provide you with a safe and enjoyable ride to your destination. We know you don’t have a choice in travel providers but do have a choice in how you travel.

Love,

Dad & Mom


Photo credits: 1979 Wagon Queen Family Truckster via photopin(license); All other images Creative Commons via Pixabay. Daily Prompt: Punishment